Don't Stay Angry

Here's the lesson I've been teaching my kids of late--don't hold on to anger and frustration and other emotions of the negative sort. Don't carry these things around all day because it is a waste. Fisher and I had a grand struggle yesterday morning over the matter of socks. The kid freaked because I was making him wear socks and they were too tight. He threw a holy fit, he made us late, he made me angry as he chucked his socks and shoes across the room and stormed about, crying and yelling. By the time we actually got in the car I was fuming. But as we pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road I tossed the anger aside. I talked calmly then about what happened, about my perception and intention, about what we both did wrong in the situation and how we could avoid it in the future. And that was it--it was over. I explained that it's okay to have those feelings, but to feel them and move on. Don't hold on to it. Don't let it keep you from anything. For my part I didn't punish him all day by staying angry and continually talking about it--it was as if nothing happened. And that's important--to not fixate and make these emotions the important ones. Later that day when I picked him up from school we drove to the countryside to pick apples. The place was closed and disappointment set in. My response--be disappointed for now but not all night. We'll try again tomorrow--and anyway we'll have more time to pick them. I refuse to let dark clouds hang all day over this house. We keep the doors open. We keep it aired out.