Show Yourself Some Love

It could be any day, any mom I run into, but this most recent trigger was a few weeks ago when I saw a mom of 3 a the play area. We used to see each other every week at the library story time and then she gave birth to her 3rd and my kids' school schedule no longer allowed us to attend that story time and life is constantly reshuffling. And so it is. We were marveling on how our kids have grown, how busy we are, how much has changed since the days we met at story time. Like me, she is a stay at home mom, and like me, she does some part time work. She remarked how guilty she felt that her youngest does not receive her full attention because of her work and her running the older two to their school and activities. It is always a matter of time spent, and even though you need your own time, and to do things to nourish yourself so that you are better prepared to provide nourishment to others, there is always the sense that you could do more. This is the hallmark of parenthood--when you question whether or not you're doing enough, or doing it right, or giving enough of your time and attention. To be a parent is to be wrought with worry and guilt. Yet don't these emotions come from a place of love? Of good intention? Yes, we should always strive to do better and be better, and yes, everyone has room for improvement. But we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves, especially when the reason we have guilt is because we love and care for them so much and only want the best for them. And that's what I told this mom at the play area--it means your daughter is loved. Isn't that the best we can give, isn't love always the answer? I don't imagine that parental guilt and worry will go away, but maybe if we go a little easier on ourselves and acknowledge the good we do we won't get stuck in the fog of those emotions. To remember what we are doing right is a catalyst to keep doing right.