Secrets

Lately my kids have been telling me secrets--they'll whisper in my ear loud enough for the other to hear as they try to outdo one another. These are the things they say: "you're the best mom in the whole world," or "I love you as much as all the stars in the sky and more than that," or "I love you more than any kid has ever loved their parent," and "mom, you're beautiful." I am grateful and proud of their large hearts. Every day with them is an experience of extremes--from tears and tantrums over completely irrational issues, to sibling fighting and sibling love, to testing limits, to cuddling on the sofa and hearing their sweet words. It's not a straight road and it isn't easy, but their secrets overpower the most trying of days. They are the constant silver lining, a lesson in choosing to see and take the best of every situation. It happens all the time doesn't it, where people become fixated on one negative thing that happens despite all the good that outnumbers their days. We're hard on ourselves--always thinking we should be doing some grand thing or that we're missing out or inadequate. And I know challenges are needed in order to evolve but we shouldn't lead a one-track mind kind of life either. This is the lesson of kids. We can have it all--in fact I prefer these kind of extremes--to see beauty, feel frustration and longing, express love, do something you never planned, and so on all in the length of one day so that when I lie down at night I do so exhausted, as if I devoured the day. And through it all I go back again and again to the sweetness of secrets.

Yesterday was Fisher's school field trip to Center Grove Orchard. Phoenix made herself right at home with the class. And yes, Fisher, I am here.