The Pusher

Two weeks ago I wound up in the urgent care clinic because of strep throat--my second case of the infection in the last month. I was talking to the nurse about the measures I had taken to fight it off, including tinctures of nettle leaf and echinacea and lathering myself with essential oils. But there comes a point when you have to go at it with harder meds, so that's why I was there--to knock it out with antibiotics. The nurse asked me what kind of oils I used (young living) and said a friend of hers swore by those and that she constantly talked about them and tried to convince everyone to try them. I could tell by the way she relayed this that her friend's fervent persuasion had ruined it for her. She was too pushy, too all or nothing, and completely unwilling to see any side but her own. Everyone knows that kind of person, the type that becomes extremist in their beliefs to the point that they are blinded to anything but and come across as elitist. Whether it be a workout, a religion, a political stance, or a diet--they climb that mountain and see nothing but the side they are facing. A lot of times what they're pushing is a good and valid thing, but because they have that pushy "there is only one way" mentality, those benefits are lost. Just as one bad seed can spoil a bunch, so can one pushy voice turn us off. It's as if the louder the words are spoken, the less people hear (unless of course they're already on that bandwagon). Again and again in life I come back to that line from Bob Dylan's "To Ramona" song--"you're better than no one and no one is better than you." Not only does it remind me not to judge others, not only does it give me confidence, but it also reminds me that there are a lot of ways of being. I do appreciate the fact that people are passionate about whatever issue they espouse, but let us all remember that there are a lot of ways of being. When we lose sight of that fact, well, really we lose.

On Aging

Doesn't it feel like no matter where you are in life, the world is geared towards you? We live in a constant bubble that captures everything that is pertinent to our age group. And it's not just the marketing tricks of the internet, which target browsers based on age, gender, and location. It's a much more deep-seated phenomenon--an unconscious decision we all make so that we feel like we matter. We have a footing here. Philosophers have pinned this unconscious move for years--how we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear; our entire belief system is mirrored and controls what we allow ourselves to see in the world at large. I find comfort in this. Comfort in knowing that as we go through life we will always feel at home here. It makes the inevitability of aging easier to embrace. Our culture is not always kind to older generations--stereotypes about their driving, their Floridian takeovers, their slowness, their frequent talk about all their ailments come to mind, as does the term "set in their ways". With this kind of judgment, I always wondered if they felt as if they didn't have a good footing and a respected voice in our society. I hate to think that anyone feels irrelevant. But this revelation I had recently puts that wonder to bed--no matter our age we are surrounded by peers. At every stage we all face the same kinds of things as our peers and because we are always trying to make sense of the world and what we are doing here, because we see what we want to see, I reckon we always find a place--a way to feel at home. And I'm sure that at every stage we look and stereotype those who are not among our peer group. I wonder what is said of 30 year olds, of which I belong. Perhaps this--slow down and relax a bit, before you know it the kids will be grown. You'll see that in time the things that cause stress are fleeting. For every age group I say this--embrace where you are.