I'll Be Walking Awhile

I've been short on words here because my head has been in the clouds. I am racked with brain fog--that feeling that you can not clear your mind, that you're not wholly with it. It is frustrating to feel that constant ache, the constant sense that you're forgetting something because all your thoughts and intentions swirl about your mind. Yesterday I had a break in running the kids and I gave myself the gift of a long walk around Gray's lake to try to shake the fog loose. Within minutes of starting my walk I was met with several smiles and warm hello's from passing strangers. The sun on my skull, the seagulls, the view. There was a crew of people planting hundreds of flags on a hill. Everyone wanted to be there so naturally you feel this is where you ought to be. I used to get so many lines for poems while walking--the cadence of step after step forming words. So whenever I've been in a rut I go for a walk. Or 50. Yesterday this thought rose from the soles of my feet--I've started and quit so many interests over the years. I've gone through so many phases and fads, be it with food or exercise or playing instruments, making candles and beer, knitting, crafting, even the type of music or movies or books I am into, not to mention all the things I intended to start (break dancing). Soon I will be taking a hula hooping class. I've got to teach myself how to can our harvest, would like to pick up cross stitch. I don't do any of it with the aim of being the best, and I don't claim to be an expert in anything. I realized yesterday as I was laughing at all the things I've started that it doesn't matter if I fail or fall short or change my mind--it is the act of doing that matters to me. It is learning about what is possible. Doesn't it keep us young at heart to always believe in the art of endeavor? I can do it all, because even though I can't, the source of acceptance and belief lies within me. You can try and do and get through even the cloudiness of fog or your latest struggle and heartache or the thoughts that don't serve you because you have boundless peace/light/love/will beneath it all. Sometimes you just have to find ways to get back there, which is what I am doing now.