Surrounded

It so happened that I had a chance to spoil all the kids yesterday with a little outing. I took Phoenix to the science center, where we declared it to be national raise your arms day and walked around periodically throwing our hands skyward. Fisher and I went for a treat after I picked him up from school, and to make him feel extra special I proposed the treat stop while he was walking with friends from class. For dinner I took Ella to her favorite restaurant. On the drive there she asked me--how are you--in a tone that meant she didn't mean just on the surface. I told her I was good, really. And you know why I said, because I know that life ebbs and flows and I'm at peace with that. Some days you feel like you do nothing but errands and running kids and dealing with finances and chores, and there is all this other work you want to do that you can't find time for, like writing. But I know at some point the scales will tip and there will be time for the other. Even if on an emotional level I am weighed down or frustrated, because I choose to believe that life is rich and good--really a thing of beauty--that is always at the core of everything that goes on. So yes, I am good. And how can I ever complain when I get to share my days with Matt and the kids? For a while now I've had the start, or rather the meat of a poem holding space in my mind but haven't yet worked out the rest. It goes like this--the idea that anything exists at all--straw and styrofoam, stars, every single atom in the universe, me and you--is utterly amazing. So yes, how could I not be good when the very idea that we exist is so grandly unfathomable. One only has to look at the night sky and imagine infinity to know that. While driving to lunch with a friend last weekend a huge crow flew low across the road in front of me and up to perch right on the center peak of a home's roof, right above the door. Perfect placement that I witnessed in a split second whilst running late, as if the crow knew I was watching. We are surrounded by beauty.