Paying Attention

It is always so mystifying how different phases and obstacles we face in life play out and become more present to us, guiding what we are internally facing. Like meeting someone new and then running into them with more frequency and you realize you'd probably seen them before but it takes knowing them to really see them. Or when you say a phrase and the next instant someone on the radio says the exact same phrase. If we notice, if we pay attention to the world, we see there is a lot it is teaching about our own dealings. There have been some frustrating dealings with people of late and it is difficult to shake the frustrating thoughts they stake out among the millions of thoughts that run through my mind in a day. Especially when the best thing to do is not say anything, to not call them out because that only leads to contention when people always think they are right. Even when you don't want to go there because the best course of action is suck it up and move on, inevitably you do. I've always struggled with meditation because I can't stop thinking, but I have learned that when thoughts arise, simply recognize them as a thought and send it away. So I've been practicing this in my daily life--whenever an unpleasant thought arises I remind myself that it is not serving me and I send it away.

And also, these two things happened to set me straight... 1. Fisher had a friend sleep over and the kid said to him "you still have training wheels on your bike? I don't have training wheels." Without a beat Fisher answered "good for you." As in I'll let you believe that you think you're better for it and I won't let it bring me down. Good luck thinking you are right and righteous. I was so proud of him in that moment, and I realized how useful it is to adopt to those frustrating encounters we all face. Instead of frustration we can simply think--good luck with the choices you have made on your path. And move on with our own path. And 2. Matt and I were at the 80/35 music festival over the weekend, and among many performers, watched Christopher the Conquered (a very talented, heartfelt Des Moines musician), where he pontificated that "thoughts are not beliefs." Yet again drilling in my mind that thoughts are a separate thing that don't always serve us and our beliefs. In fact they are so powerful that the greatest hindrance to contentment is our own mind--the thoughts we choose to keep. So it was, in these random, unexpected places the answer I was seeking to let go of trap-like thoughts was found. And too, it helps that my youngest daughter, obsessed with the movie Frozen, constantly sings "let it go." Sometimes it is as if the world is in cahoots with our internal struggles. If we observe, if we see its beauty. If we believe in the power of the phrase "so that's why that happened." Answers abound when the time is right.