A Sweet Exchange

On a Tuesday morning after dropping Fisher off at school, Phoenix and I were headed to Home Depot to pick up some supplies for the house. She rolled her window down as she often does, and she says to me--I'm blowing kisses out the window and they're floating up to land on the birds flying by. And so all morning as we drove we blew kisses to the birds and the world. I told her maybe the wind would carry one to Fisher, who by then would be out on the playground for recess and it would land on him and he wouldn't feel alone. Kindergarten has been a difficult transition for him, as it has for me--his absence is known. Over a week has passed since the wind took our kisses. Yesterday Phoenix and I were walking downtown just to see what we could see. There I am pushing her in the stroller and crossing a bridge when she raises her arms and shouts--let it free. Good words, I told her. And then as if on cue, a feather caught in the scuttle of the breeze came to a stop right at our feet. Phoenix, I said, I bet that came from one of the birds you blew a kiss to and it dropped a feather to say thank you. Maybe it's a birds' way of blowing a kiss back. But in my mind I was thinking it was a sign that taking time to be present with just Phoenix--to have that one on one girl time--was exactly what I should be doing. I find a lot of feathers--they'll appear and land in front of me in the most random of places. Like the one that blew along the street and landed, still, in front of me on my first date with Matt. Always in these moments I get the feeling that it isn't some random thing, that it's some sign telling me this path is right, I'm doing what I should. Maybe these little nudges are all around us and we just have to take the time to notice. We just have to look.