Yesterday while driving along a busy road I passed a school playground and saw a flock of boys in the throws of a fight. On the very next block I spotted a sun-yellow home skirted with flowers, adorned with metal butterflies and a large front porch where a woman was sitting, admiring the view from her speck on the planet. In just those few seconds I had witnessed the sum of things. Fear, hate, sadness, peace, gratitude, love--everything exists at the same time. What a poignant image I witnessed on my drive, yesterday of all days when the news of the Oklahoma City tornado hit the airwaves. What sad, unfathomable devastation. Of course while that tornado bared down, on another stretch of land a baby was born, somewhere a person received good news, birds were hatching from eggs, someone smiled for no reason at all. So how do we reconcile this duality--the good and the bad. How do we stop ourselves from thinking I'm glad that wasn't me, or who am I to think that couldn't happen to me. Because those thoughts sink our sense of hope. They prevent us from feeling any joy wholly (or maybe that's just me and I'm too damned sensitive). I've always struggled to truly embrace the good things in my life because part of me thinks that the moment I name that happiness the floor will drop. But it isn't really fair to my heart. I should be able to ride the waves with a mind that is wholly open and present to whatever gift those waves offer without trepidation. For me, I think the answer is to just be open and accepting to every moment and to choose to learn and progress with each encounter. Simply, to be grateful for the air in my lungs. This idea is encapsulated perfectly in a poem by Jack Gilbert that I wish I had written. It has become one of my favorites and one of my dearest friends sent it to me. Enjoy.
www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-brief-for-the-defense/
No comments:
Post a Comment