On Vitality

There's poison ivy in my back yard. Every year it appears and every year I carefully and painstakingly try to pull it all by the root so it doesn't come back. But time and again it does. I can't help but think this is like our longing--some deep-rooted seed in us that no matter how hard we try to eradicate and move on it's still there and it always will be. And like poison ivy marks us with a rash when we touch it, maybe it's a sign that what we long can never be. Maybe we aren't meant to achieve some of the things we long for, but rather it's a source that propels us forward--keeps us progressing in our lives, keeps us striving for better. But damn I want to scratch that itch sometimes! And why should we deny our hearts to want, even if it can't be had. What you long for is telling you something that no amount of covering up with new plantings or trying to forget can deny. There's a whole world inside of us that takes place beyond our awareness that feels and categorizes and responds and shapes the world we encounter outside of us. It even processes thoughts without our awareness, and it longs without our wanting it to. Poison ivy to the earth is what our subconscious is to our bodies. And as a green leafy plant, poison ivy captures the sun's energy and provides us with the oxygen we need to survive. So too the longing rooted in our subconscious is a source of energy, feeding us with vitality.