To Matter

I can't recall which horrific shooting it was - who can keep count - but I remember seeing a woman being interviewed on the news once about one such tragedy and she was smiling. I found it so strange that she would be smiling while discussing the loss of life. We want so much to matter in this world that we get all googly eyed with the prospect of being known on TV. It wasn't like she was happy about the events, but she  was pleased as punch to be asked for her opinion, to be seen. And what of our inadequacies--the bully projects their shortcomings on others, unwilling to admit their own faults because they want to matter. And now I'm thinking longing too is the same kind of thing--we look outward and dream for what we think is lacking in our lives, but isn't that really bullying ourselves? In longing we are projecting our needs - a way of judging what we think our hearts are missing. But isn't everything we truly need already inside of us? In the blink of an eye we can change, can awaken, can love, can make ourselves happy. It's all a matter of perspective. This tells me that we truly are social creatures, for it isn't enough to matter to ourselves--we also want to matter to others. We need to share and be understood and appreciated. Our connection with one another runs so deep that every intention held in our minds is a plea to be accepted by the community. No matter your upbringing or nationality or economic status or actions--at our core we all just want to matter to someone. And sometimes we have strange ways of showing it.